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But I Don’t Want a Jaguar

Posted April 13, 2009 by Walter 6 Comments

A car with a view . . . .of the Alfa 147s that got away.

A car with a view . . . .of the Alfa Romeo 147 that got away.

By Walter Sanders

As far as I’m concerned, it’s been a good year for U.S. Airways. Sully landed safely in the Hudson, and we survived steerage on a flight to Rome.

Groggy, ragged and raw after landing 10 minutes early in Rome . . . things smoothed out after the first cappuccino at a bar in Fumicino. Lots of local color: A Miss Italy look-alike was strutting around and she twisted the necks of a bunch of Italian guys who were sipping their coffees.

Then it was upstairs (2 stories) to the well-hidden autonoleggio center. The couple ahead of me in line at Dollar/Thrifty were Brazilians. The gent seemed confused and spoke in halting Italian with a German/Portuguese accent.

It took awhile . . . but it was finally my turn . . . and I handed over the pre-paid web reservation for my carefully selected, long anticipated, sleek and speedy Alfa Romeo 147 . The signorina at the counter, who looked young enough to be playing hooky from 10th grade, reviewed my paperwork, and then looked at sheets on her desk. “We have a Jaguar for you.”

I thought she was joking. “That’s wonderful. But I want the Alfa Romeo,” I said.

“I’m so sorry, but we don’t have an Alfa Romeo available right now.”

“But I have a reservation.”

“Sorry.”

“Well how about something comparable-a BMW, a different model Alfa, a small Mercedes?”

“No, I’m sorry. In the same class as the Alfa you reserved, all we have is a Jaguar,” she said.

I called Sharon over, and reviewed the situation with her. “I don’t think the Jaguar will work for us. It’s big, it consumes a lot of expensive benzina, and it sends the wrong signal.” Sharon agreed.

“The Jaguar offer is very nice, but I don’t want a Jaguar. What other options do I have?” I asked.

The signorina looked at her sheets again. “Well, your Alfa and the Jaguar are a class F. All we have available now is class B. Sub-compacts like a Ford or a Lancia.”

A Ford? There’s no way I’m going to tool around in a Ford in Italy! A Lancia?

“Tell me about the Lancia, please.”

“It’s the Ypsilon. Nice car. Smaller than the Jaguar. Smaller than your Alfa.”

Yes, my Alfa, my lost Alfa. My Alfa that, throughout the trip I would continue to lust after as they sizzled past us on the Autostrada, ‘Hey, there’s my Alfa Romeo . . . .”

We ended up with the Lancia. Sporty, not very sexy, but more than adequate . . . .and about five-feet shorter than the damn Jaguar parked down the row in the class F section.

What experiences have you had with car rentals in Italy? Did you get your elusive Alfa? Share your stories with us.

Filed Under: Culture, Language, Lifestyle, Travel Tagged With: Italian cars, italian culture, italian travel

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Comments

  1. Massimo Melani says

    April 15, 2009 at 1:00 AM

    “Steering in the wind”. And that would be it. But ,as for understanding love one must have fallen in love at least once,you need to have owned (and driven) an Alfa Romeo Spider to appreciate all her qualities. And all that would be even better if you had the chance to drive her through Tuscany and its landscapes all so different and unique the world over.
    Her 130 hp twin camshaft “rombo” may be recognized by anyone that loves sport cars.
    The “rosso alfa” and her magic design by Maestro PININFARINA make it the only car that gets comments from people in the streets : it seems that average folk understand the look and sound of a well designed and well engineered automobile. A real masterpiece of the ARTE ITALIANA.
    SPIDER ROSSA I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL.

    Reply
  2. Massimo Melani says

    April 15, 2009 at 12:32 AM

    Don’t worry you didn’t loose anything….that Jaguar was for sure (E.Type) the cheepest one commercialized by Ford Europe….same diesel engine as the Ford Mondeo….actually a “FIASCO” or if you prefere a big flop.So you’ve never been so right Wally. http://web.tiscali.it/apfelman/

    Reply
  3. edoardo says

    April 14, 2009 at 12:22 PM

    hello, I’m an Italian guy of 32 years old living in the city of Perugia, not far from Rome and Siena. I know for sure Rome and Siena are well-known cities around the world but I would like to suggest to everybody to visit Perugia, it is amazing beautiful city. Driving a car in Italy it’s a mess, but unfortunately if you like to discover all the beauties of my country you have to do it…the best it’s not IN the centre of the italian cities, but its AROUND…. I’m glad to help you if I can… Goodbye from Perugia, Edoardo

    Reply
  4. Maureen says

    April 14, 2009 at 8:10 AM

    You guys are good… I would have considered this “please take the Jaguar” as a sign that I had done something REALLY NICE in a previous life.

    So are you in bella Italia per piacere or per lavoro? Either way, have a fabulous time! (And I’ll bet you’ll be missing that Jag before the trip is over.)

    Buon viaggio,
    Marina

    Reply
  5. tess says

    April 13, 2009 at 9:10 PM

    Aw, I cannot believe you passed on the opportunity for a Jaguar! What could be sexier than that?

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Simple Italy: Italian Food, Culture, Lifestyle and Travel says:
    May 5, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    […] left Fiumicino, not in “my” noble Alfa 147 but in an ordinary Lancia Ypsilon (damn it), heading due east on A24 for Abruzzo and our first night’s destination in Sulmona. […]

    Reply

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